Pinchot and Laura’s love story was cut short when Laura’s health began to decline in December 1893, and she was moved to Washington, D.C. to stay with her uncle, Senator Frank Stockbridge of Michigan in his large mansion, so as to be in proximity to the city’s modern medical facilities. Pinchot was living with his parents in New York at the time and would take the train any time possible to visit her.

Pinchot’s constancy at Laura’s side prompted his mother to come and visit Miss Houghteling on New Year’s Eve 1893, and Laura was determined to make a good impression. She refused any medication that day, left her bedchamber attired in her favorite pink tea gown, and put on a show of health for Mrs. Pinchot. Perhaps this overextension is what worsened Laura’s condition, because three days later she was bed-ridden and never walked again.

In early January 1894, doctors told Laura that there was no hope for her condition. Her nobility and selflessness appeared as she showed more concern for those left behind to mourn her than for herself. She knew Gifford would not believe it, because he was so convinced that she would get well. Laura and Gifford exchanged promises to remain together, even after her death. The couple discussed her eventual demise and had decided together that it would not mean the end – their shared philosophy was that they would soon be together in the spirit realm.

When Laura passed away on February 7, 1894, gracefully and with her last thoughts about the well-being of others – a good death. Family worried that Pinchot would never recover, for all he would do was talk and dream about Laura at home; he was brave and quiet in public, though visibly tired from lack of sleep. To the surprise of those closest to him, Pinchot did not formally grieve Laura’s death and instead immediately after the funeral service with her family in Chicago, he returned to work in New York as though nothing was wrong.

Pinchot’s personal diary entry dated March 18, 1894 states that 38 days after Laura’s death, he could feel her presence: “My lady is very near.” On April 3, he wrote “My Darling is with me and I know it already.” From that moment on, Laura is continuously in his diary, as he indicated that felt her presence with comments like “A wonderful day with my Dearest clearly with me” on October 31, and “My Lady spoke to me tonight” on December 8. He felt the reunion with Laura so strongly, just as they had planned, that he continued to feel bonded with her over the course of the next twenty years. He remained constant and faithful to her, abstaining from any romantic relationships during this time.

He kept his spirit relationship a secret, writing about her presence in code in his diaries in the guise of the weather. Bright, clear days were those when he felt her presence with him. Blind or dull days were those when he could not. His diary is full of entries where he feels her presence with him traveling, working, reading, and living out daily life.

He eventually confided in Laura’s mother, Marcia Houghteling, about his connection to the deceased Laura, who invited Pinchot to stay at their family home as often as he would like. He frequently acted on this invitation and the two would spend time looking through Laura’s things and reminiscing. Pinchot eventually moved into the Houghteling family home, Strawberry Hill, and even took to calling Mrs. Houghteling “Mother” (his own mother was Mamee). Diary entries indicate that Mrs. Houghteling too did not believe that Laura was gone. They would sometimes hold seances to communicate with her, deepening Pinchot’s belief that she was gone but not departed.

Further analysis reveals that Gifford and Laura were both religiously and spiritually attuned, and that he believed the relationship was being maintained through his spiritual connection to God. He would often thank God in his journal entries for his ability to connect with her. He often sought out her spiritual counsel and saw her now as a type of angel, calling her “My Lady”.

Spirit marriage

Pinchot went so far as to define the connection as a spiritual marriage. He had a personal wedding ceremony one night when he visited a favorite spot of theirs, proclaiming in a diary entry dated April 22, 1896, “In God’s sight, My Lady and I are husband and wife.” He most often felt her presence in solitude, and the isolation of train travel seemed to bring her to mind most often. Pinchot also would feel her presence while reading, especially metaphysical books, believing that they were reading together as they had once done at Strawberry Hill.

Pinchot continued to write about Laura through some of the most significant moments in his career. In 1914 Pinchot, now age 49, entered into what was likely an arranged marriage with society-equal Cornelia Bryce. It appears to have been a short courtship, small family wedding, and not overly sentimental. With the ceremony on August 15, 1914, his diary entries to Laura stop. It’s not likely that his feelings stopped so abruptly, but instead that he had respect for his obligation and commitment to Cornelia. The couple had one son, Gifford Bryce Pinchot, about one and a half years after the wedding day.

After such a long time of devotion to Laura, one may wonder why Pinchot decided to marry. It seems likely that his mother’s failing health was a motivating force – perhaps her last wish to her son was to plead with him to marry and make sure to continue the family line. A mere 10 days after Pinchot’s wedding to Cornelia, his mother passed away. Researchers speculate that the two mothers arranged it all – Cornelia was an “old maid” and an outspoken political activist who had not shown interest in marriage during her 33 years of life. Pinchot was an old bachelor with one last chance for children to continue the Pinchot legacy. The arrangement solved a problem for both families.

It seems likely that in Pinchot’s mind, the earthly marriage was temporary and would be replaced by his spiritual union with Laura after his own death. He often quoted a favorite philosopher of his and Laura’s named Emanuel Swedenborg who wrote about Marital Love in 1765, saying that the internal union of souls was the only one to truly matter once achieved, and that the spirit of the deceased part of a pair would forever remain with their partner.

Despite the cessation of Laura being mentioned in his diaries, Pinchot still held on to memories of Laura. Shortly after her death, he had ordered a special blue box from Tiffany’s in New York and kept all of her letters and photos in it for the duration of his life, never letting go of them despite his marriage to Cornelia, suggesting that he too felt there was a spiritual future where he and Laura would be together again.

The transcendent love that Gifford Pinchot felt for Laura Houghteling motivated him through many challenging years of his life and career. The internal peace and guidance that her memory gave him were in fact a driving force for the many forward-thinking and philanthropically minded actions for which he is well remembered. 

One could argue that without Laura’s disappearance from his life, Pinchot would not have accomplished as much as he did. Because he was devoted to his spirit wife, he did not marry an earthly one for 20 years, a personal era when he was driven to professionally accomplish so much. The demands of a real wife and family likely would have limited his travel and energy for his mission. Laura’s ghostly presence gave him companionship and peace of mind while freeing him to do great things. Gifford Pinchot passed away on October 4, 1946. Only he knows if his spirit bride, Laura Houghteling, was waiting for him on the other side.

Photographs and information for this column are provided by the Rowell Bosse North Carolina Room, Transylvania County Library. This article was written by Local History Librarian Laura Sperry. Sources available upon request.